Is this real Life?

So the climb me and Mike did was crazy insane. However i did not conquer that beast. I ended up stopping 10 meters from the top so you know what that means, next time I'm doing it again. I have accepted the fact that school is really tearing me a new one and it might take me another semester to graduate than I thought. Though for some reason I don't really care. It seems as though coping with my depression/anxiety it makes it very hard to work during stressful periods. Some people may think depression and anxiety are not real illnesses (Tom Cruise). Before I was medicated I didn't leave my house for three months. I would cry without reason to cry, and my head would spin I would get light headed to the point I had to grab my head and lay down and pray to God that I wasn't dying. Everyday I googled my symptoms and they all pointed to one thing BRAIN CANCER. This would freak me out even more I wasn't just mentally sick I was physically sick. I had fevers and I would get sick to my stomach. I have always been frightened that I had cancer because it runs in my family so much. My Grandma had breast cancer went into remission a month later she was diagnosed with brain cancer. She started off living by herself but as her disease progressed she moved in with me and my parents. After a month or so I couldn't take watching my Grandma suffer so I moved out. A couple of months later I was getting ready to head down to my parents for a birthday party or something and my sister in law called and told me that my Grandma had passed away. During this my cousin that was just 26 years old was going through chemo treatments and was wearing a ball cap with a fake pony tail in it as she wore it to my Grandmas funeral. My cousin had gone into remission as well and then was diagnosed with brain cancer the following month or so. She past away about six months later. My uncle who was a smoker for 52 years had finally quit he said he didn't want to be that guy with the oxygen tank. About two years after he quit he was diagnosed with lung cancer and the cancer tore apart his body and he was gone within three months of being diagnosed. My uncle was a Marine for twelve years and he was very proud to be. I was lucky enough to have my friend Dino a Marine there at my uncles funeral standing perfectly still shooting his M-16 on command. I guess I just don't want to live my life in a cube right now while I'm young. I have always loved to be outside and now that I have found cycling the greatest sport in the world it really makes me want to be around it nonstop. Life is too short to be cubed. My Grandma lived a good life, my Uncle too, and even my cousin through her short life she accomplished a lot.

I JUST WANT MORE DAYS LIKE THESE